Outrunning the Cloud
laureola:

Oh Crap. #artistsontumblr #pencil #lettering

laureola:

Oh Crap. #artistsontumblr #pencil #lettering

Please update your bookmarks.  http://outrunningthecloud.com

Please update your bookmarks.  http://outrunningthecloud.com

by now, this video had gone somewhat viral. I saw it yesterday and honestly, I think I found my cancer-soulmate. After watching Emily’s video, I read her entire blog from start to finish. So many of her posts, I could have written myself, like her feeling on Pinktober. It happened to me just yesterday. I went to the party store and was literally smacked in the face by a flying pink ribbon balloon. Then at the grocery store, I saw pink-ribbon bread and soup. ARGH!!! (if you really want to raise awareness and do actual good, you know you can already sponsor next year’s walk, right?)

After I was done reading, I actually felt better. Things have been very gloomy. There is a lot of pressure to be happy and relieved that chemo is over. There is an expectation that things are ‘back to normal’. Which they are so very much not. And finding Emily’s blog made me feel like at least someone understood, even though she had absolutely no idea I exist.

So far, the other cancer warriors/patients I have met have had little in common with me. They were either older or much younger, or had very different treatment paths. Every cancer is different. Every battle is different. But I found myself a little bit in Emily’s story. And seriously, her video kicks ass.

mydaguerreotypeboyfriend:

And now a submission from The Smithsonian. (Love it when these great institutions get in touch with their boyfriends of their very own!)

Thought we would share our latest post with you. Is this a photo from the Civil War or an Urban Outfitters ad? 
Lt. George Custer and Fellow Union Troops Picnicking During the Civil War. May 20, 1862.

mydaguerreotypeboyfriend:

And now a submission from The Smithsonian. (Love it when these great institutions get in touch with their boyfriends of their very own!)

Thought we would share our latest post with you. Is this a photo from the Civil War or an Urban Outfitters ad? 

Lt. George Custer and Fellow Union Troops Picnicking During the Civil War. May 20, 1862.

These Are the Days In Between

Alternative Title: 30 minutes or it’s free.

Today was my first non-chemo Monday. Except it turned out to be a lot like a chemo Monday.

8 am blood draw. *Insert 45 min for a urologist*. Still have kidney stone, nothing to be done, wait to pass it. Usual 40 min for oncologist. WBC stable, not up or down. Which means STILL no sushi. Go up to pharmacy and wait for Herceptin bag to be prepared. That infusion should be 30 min. Except for the all the waiting. Waiting for the doctor. Waiting for the bag. Waiting for a chair. Waiting for a nurse. Waiting for the 30 min. Then waiting for someone to be available to flush and unhook my port. Next thing you know, it’s 2:15 pm. 

I AM NOT COMPLAINING. I really am not. I am simply explaining why I am not doing cartwheels that chemo is over. Why I don’t have the huge smile on my face everyone seems to want me to have. Sure, no chemo flowed through my veins today, I will not be peeing 100 times tonight and I will not spend the next 2 days living in my bathroom while my intestines revolt against Taxol. So I am VERY VERY HAPPY about that. I really am. I just can’t do the Unicorn/Rainbow/Puppy Dance quite yet.

And for the record, no, I still don’t know when radiation starts. I did hear that it *looks* like late October, which would have me done by early December. But I have no scan date. And without a scan date, I got nothing. Please don’t ask me about the scan date. I might have to punch you. Also, please refrain from saying anything in the vein of ‘You must be SO happy chemo is over!’. I might have to punch you too. I’m feeling punchy. Fair warning.

PS: bonus points for knowing what I got the title from

Like ‘Make-a-wish’, but with wine

2 days ago, M. picked me up and we headed west, to Toronto. As a post-chemo treat, we got to go the live taping of The Social, a talk show featuring none other than my blogging idol Lainey. I’ve met Lainey before and she’s been keeping an eye on how I’m doing, so I used this little break in treatment to get out of town, go hang out with a couple of girlfriends, have dinner with one Toronto friend, stay in a nice suite and drink a lot of wine. Young kids with cancer get to meet hockey players or go to Disney. This was MY make-a-wish!

L. drove in and came to meet us. As she posted on FB ‘About to meet a stranger in a hotel room, don’t tell my parents!’. We had such a good time. We laughed and talked and did our hair… ok, THEY did their hair, I just watched! 3 gals, one bathroom, and somehow, we made it work!

I got to be on TV, again. It wasn’t planned, I didn’t know til we got there, when Lainey said ‘oh btw I’m going to shout-out to you at the top of the show’…. ummmmm ok then. Glad I put on some lipstick and spanx! 

Other memorable moments include the crazy lady in the elevator who asked us if we got Jimmy Kimmel Live in Canada because her husband was going to be on it that night. And the room-service lady who was fascinated that we were going to be on tv and tried to convince us to get deep-fried cheesecake to go with our deep-fried pickles. The poor housekeeping man who had to come at midnight to put sheets on the hide-a-bed because it didn’t occur to one of us to check the couch for sheets any earlier.

And finally, something M and I learned in the 7+ hours we were in the car together on the way home, getting stuck in a highway shut-down that forced us to crawl for 3 hours and sleep in Brockville:

  • It does not matter which lane you are in, how many times you weave in and out. In the end, that one yellow car you started out next to in Ajax is still going to be right next to you 4 hours later.

this is one of the most inspiring, heart-warming things I have ever seen.

My first post-chemo day

Yesterday was the last chemo. I have some weeks til radiation starts, and I’m wondering if I’ll be able to go to work at least one, maybe two days a week during this time. Not one to waste time debating, and due to a scheduling fluke where super manager Dee was off today, I went to work for two hours today. Two whole hours. During which I blew up balloons without being able to feel my fingers, posted a tee shirt order and realized that my brain is completely chemo-fried and I don’t know how to do the most basic things anymore. Oh, and I got free soup! Because if you miss work for six months because you have cancer, the lovely Korean lady who makes Chinese wonton soup will give you free soup on your first day back!

But when my two hours were up, I was exhausted. How is it that I walked sixty kilometres but could barely stand for two hours? So I went home and sat on the couch and watched The Social. And was humbled and somewhat kicked in the ass by the inspirational story of Sindy Hooper, who completed an ironman WHILE in chemo for pancreatic cancer! http://t.co/ryDtTUTun1

I took me three tries to get the labels loaded right in the printer and she did an ironman! I’m still unsure of how quickly I can be counted on at the store. I can for sure pop-in, but I’m not sure I can be reliable. In the other hand, if she can train for a triathlon, I should be able to go wrap a few gifts!

Last chemo. Very anti-climactic as it’s not the end of treatment, just THIS treatment. But I’m dressed very much like my normal self, so there is that

Last chemo. Very anti-climactic as it’s not the end of treatment, just THIS treatment. But I’m dressed very much like my normal self, so there is that